How to settle a conflict at work…

Posted on March 31, 2007
Filed Under Business tutorials, Save money and/or time |

I have recently had some discussions about how to settle conflicts at work… wikihow, a website that we have recommended many times in the past presented some solutions which seem to be very useful:

” 1. Realize that conflicts are inevitable at work. Whenever people are committed and fired up, or change and new ideas are emerging, conflict and disagreement are bound to happen. This doesnâ€™t mean you have to revel in conflict or create trouble just for the hell of it, but it does mean that when conflict happens itâ€™s not the end of the world. It can be the beginning of an interesting learning process. Conflicts mean that people care enough to disagree strongly. The trick is not to allow the conflict to go on forever.

2. Handle conflicts sooner rather than later. Resolve a conflict when it starts, as it only gets worse with time. Conflicts at work arise not from something that was said, but from something that wasnâ€™t said! Everyoneâ€™s waiting for the other to admit heâ€™s wrong and gets more unpleasant after the conflict has stewed for a while. It’s essential to interrupt the “waiting game” before it gets to that point.

3. Ask nicely. If somebody has done something that made you angry, or if you donâ€™t understand their viewpoint or actions, simply asking about it can make a world of difference. Never assume that people do what they do to annoy or spite you. Sometimes thereâ€™s good reason why that person does what he or she does (even the things that really get on your nerves), and a potential conflict evaporates right there. Make your inquiry just that–an inquiry, not an accusation of any sort: â€œSay, I was wondering why you did â€˜Xâ€™ yesterdayâ€ or â€œIâ€™ve noticed that you often do â€˜Yâ€™. Why is that?â€ are good examples. â€œWhy the hell do you always have to â€˜Zâ€™!â€ is less constructive.

4. Invite the other person to talk about the situation. A hurried conversation at your desk between emails and phone calls wonâ€™t solve anything. You need an undisturbed location and time to address the issue.

5. Observe. Identify what you see in neutral, objective terms. This is where you describe the facts of the situation as objectively as possible. What is actually happening? When and how is it happening? What is the other person doing and, not least, what are you doing? Youâ€™re only allowed to cite observable facts and not allowed to assume or guess at what the other person is thinking or doing. You can say, â€œIâ€™ve noticed that youâ€™re always criticizing me at our meetingsâ€ because thatâ€™s a verifiable fact. You canâ€™t say â€œIâ€™ve noticed that youâ€™ve stopped respecting my ideasâ€ because that assumes something about the other person.

6. Apologize. Apologize for your part in the conflict. Usually everyone involved has done something to create and sustain the conflict. Remember: Youâ€™re not accepting the entire blame, youâ€™re taking responsibility for your contribution to the situation.

7. Appreciate. Praise the other part in the conflict. Tell them why itâ€™s worth it to you to solve the conflict. This can be difficult as few people find it easy to praise and appreciate a person they disagree strongly with, but itâ€™s a great way to move forward”.

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